Supporting a loved one with dementia often includes helping them with personal care—such as washing, dressing, toileting, and grooming. These tasks, while essential, can be emotionally complex and physically challenging for both the person living with dementia and their family members or carers.
This guide offers practical advice and gentle strategies to help you provide personal care with dignity, empathy, and confidence.
Understanding the Challenges of Personal Care in Dementia
Dementia can affect memory, language, perception, and judgment. For someone living with dementia, personal care may feel confusing, intrusive, or even frightening.
Common challenges include:
- Forgetting how to perform routine tasks (e.g. how to use a toothbrush)
- Resisting help due to embarrassment, fear, or confusion
- Not recognising people or objects involved in care routines
- Loss of coordination or mobility, making tasks physically difficult
Approaching care with patience and sensitivity is key to making the experience less distressing.
How to Approach Personal Care with Respect and Sensitivity
- Establish trust and familiarity
Build routine and consistency. Try to have the same person assist with care to reduce anxiety. - Communicate clearly and calmly
Use short, simple phrases and reassuring tones:
“It’s time to brush your teeth. I’ll help you.” - Offer choices
Even small decisions—“Would you like the blue shirt or the red one?”—can help retain a sense of control. - Maintain dignity
Close the door, cover the person with a towel or robe, and offer privacy wherever possible. - Use visual cues
Demonstrating actions or laying out items in order can prompt memory and confidence.
Supporting with Washing and Bathing
Bathing can be one of the most sensitive areas of personal care.
Tips:
- Maintain a warm, calm environment with soft lighting
- Let them do as much as they can, assisting only where needed
- Use a handheld shower and washcloths instead of immersion if they’re anxious
- Use no-rinse products when bathing daily is not practical
- Always check water temperature to avoid scalding
If your loved one is resistant, try breaking the process into smaller steps over several days.
Dressing with Dignity
Choosing what to wear can become overwhelming for someone with dementia.
Tips:
- Lay out clothes in order of how they’re put on
- Choose soft, loose-fitting, easy-to-fasten garments
- Avoid too many options—limit to two choices
- Offer praise and encouragement throughout
Consider adaptive clothing with Velcro or magnetic fasteners to simplify dressing.
Supporting with Toileting
Toileting needs can be especially distressing if the person is confused, embarrassed, or physically limited.
Tips:
- Establish a routine and encourage regular bathroom visits
- Use signage or pictures on the bathroom door
- Choose easy-to-remove clothing
- Install grab rails and use raised toilet seats where needed
- Have wipes, gloves and incontinence pads available, and reassure your loved one throughout
Accidents may happen—respond with kindness and reassurance to protect dignity.
Grooming and Everyday Hygiene
Daily grooming routines help maintain self-esteem and a sense of normalcy.
Tasks might include:
- Brushing teeth or dentures
- Hair brushing and styling
- Nail trimming and skincare
- Shaving (manual or electric razors)
Tips:
- Offer a mirror and gentle encouragement
- Use lightly scented or familiar products
- Turn grooming into a shared, relaxed moment if possible
Familiar scents and routines can evoke memories and improve comfort.
Supporting Emotional Wellbeing During Personal Care
- Acknowledge emotions: It’s okay for both of you to feel uncomfortable at times.
- Take breaks if either of you feels frustrated.
- Use touch wisely: a hand on the shoulder or a reassuring pat can offer comfort.
- Turn the experience into something enjoyable—play calming music or talk about happy memories.
When to Ask for Help
Caring for a loved one with dementia is rewarding—but also physically and emotionally demanding. If personal care becomes too difficult or impacts your wellbeing, you’re not failing by asking for support.
Professional carers can:
- Offer expert assistance with personal care routines
- Provide consistency and reassurance
- Relieve family carers, allowing for more quality time together
At Trinity Homecare, we offer specialist dementia care at home, tailored to your loved one’s needs—whether it’s a few hours a day or full-time live-in care.
Summary: Top Tips for Helping with Personal Care
- Be calm, respectful, and consistent
- Break tasks into small, manageable steps
- Offer choices and encourage independence
- Use gentle communication and visual cues
- Prioritise dignity and privacy at every step
- Don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed
Remember: Every act of care is an act of love. By approaching personal care with empathy and patience, you’re giving your loved one more than support—you’re giving them comfort, dignity, and peace of mind.
