How to Deal with Dementia in a Parent

When a parent is diagnosed with dementia, the world can shift in an instant. You may suddenly find yourself in a new role – part child, part caregiver, part advocate – unsure how to navigate the path ahead.

Dementia doesn’t just affect memory. It can impact mood, behaviour, personality and daily functioning. This means dealing with parents with dementia often brings both emotional and practical challenges.

In this guide, we explore how to respond with compassion, patience and resilience. Whether you’re living with a parent with dementia, supporting them from afar, or adjusting to the grief of watching someone slowly change, you’re not alone. Let’s take a closer look at how to cope – and where to turn for help.

Understanding dementia in a parent

Dementia is an umbrella term for a range of conditions that affect brain function, with Alzheimer’s disease being the most common type. In parents, it often becomes noticeable through:

Memory loss
Repetition
Personality shifts
Difficulty completing everyday tasks
Confusion about time or place

One of the hardest things about how to deal with dementia in a parent is witnessing these changes in someone who once cared for you. You may feel like you’re losing them twice – first to the condition, and eventually in person. But while dementia changes many things, it doesn’t erase the bond you share. Moments of connection, warmth and recognition can still shine through – and those are the moments to hold on to.

Living with a parent with dementia: what to expect

If your parent is living with you or has moved in due to their diagnosis, it’s important to adapt your home and your expectations. Here are some changes that can make everyday life safer and calmer for everyone:

Make the home dementia-friendly

Remove trip hazards: Keep floors clear and avoid rugs or clutter.
Improve lighting: Natural light during the day and nightlights after dark help reduce confusion.
Label key areas: Use clear signs or photos on doors for rooms like the bathroom or kitchen.
Create calm spaces: Avoid overstimulation – limit background noise and use soft, familiar décor.
Secure exits: Install locks or alarms if wandering is a concern.

Establish a consistent routine

Routine helps people with dementia feel secure. Stick to the same wake-up times, meal patterns and bedtime where possible. Avoid rushing or unexpected changes, which can lead to anxiety or agitation.

Break tasks into manageable steps, and offer support rather than instructions. For example:

Instead of saying “Get dressed,” try “Let’s pick out your clothes together.”
Instead of “What do you want to eat?”, try “Would you like toast or cereal this morning?”

These small changes help maintain dignity and reduce stress for both of you.

How to cope with dementia in a parent: emotional support

Caring for a parent with dementia can be rewarding, but it’s also incredibly demanding. It’s easy to neglect your own needs while focusing on theirs. But in order to care for someone else, you need to care for yourself too.

Acknowledge your emotions

You may feel guilt, sadness, frustration, helplessness – sometimes all in one day. These are normal reactions. Talking to someone you trust, journaling or speaking with a professional can help you process these feelings rather than carry them in silence.

Set realistic expectations

You won’t always respond perfectly. There will be days when you’re short-tempered or exhausted. That doesn’t make you a bad carer – it makes you human. Focus on doing your best, not being perfect.

Build a support network

Don’t do it all alone. Reach out to family, friends or support groups for help – even if it’s just someone to listen. If possible, share the practical responsibilities with siblings or other relatives. You can also:

Arrange respite care to take regular breaks
Join a local dementia carers’ group
Speak to your GP about emotional wellbeing

You deserve support just as much as your parent does. Explore our in-depth Dementia Information Hub for tips, advice and guidance to help you and your loved one live well with dementia.

Dealing with parents with dementia: communication tips

Talking with someone who has dementia can become more difficult as the condition progresses. Here are a few ways to keep conversations respectful, calming and effective:

Use their name and make eye contact
Speak slowly, using simple words
Avoid correcting them if they’re confused. Instead, gently redirect the conversation
Reassure them if they seem distressed or agitated
Share memories rather than asking them to recall events

Even when words fade, tone, facial expression and touch can still convey warmth and love.

Grieving a parent with dementia

When people speak of grief, they often think of it as something that comes after a loss. But many people caring for a parent with dementia experience what’s called anticipatory grief – a sadness for the pieces of your parent that are fading bit by bit.

It’s important to make space for this grief, even while they’re still here.

Let yourself cry when you need to
Talk about your feelings – with friends, family or a therapist
Celebrate the moments of joy and connection that still happen
Honour your parent’s identity – play their favourite music, tell stories, look through photos together

Grieving a parent with dementia doesn’t mean you’ve given up. It means you’re acknowledging the emotional truth of the journey.

When to seek professional support

There may come a time when your parent’s care needs become too complex or demanding to manage alone. This can be a difficult realisation, but recognising it is an act of love, not failure.

You might consider professional support if:

Your parent needs round-the-clock supervision to stay safe

Managing their care is impacting your own health or wellbeing

They’re experiencing rapid decline, aggression or wandering

Their personal care, nutrition or medication is being affected

You’re struggling to balance other responsibilities alongside caregiving

Professional dementia care – whether part-time, full-time or live-in – can provide stability, safety and specialist support. It can also give you space to restore your own energy and return to your role as their son or daughter, not just their carer.

Talk to Trinity Homecare today

At Trinity Homecare we offer Outstanding rated dementia care, tailored to your loved one’s needs – from visiting homecare to full-time live-in support. Whether you need help with medication, bathing, meal preparation or simply companionship, our professional carers provide respectful, compassionate support that adapts as dementia progresses.

For more details on how Trinity Homecare can support you, explore our live-in dementia care guide and discover the compassionate care your family deserves.

Call us now on 020 4538 3147 in confidence for a free, no obligation quotation. If enquiring outside of our opening hours, please complete our online form and we will contact you the next day.