Trying to balance work, raising children and supporting ageing parents can leave you feeling as though you’re constantly being pulled in different directions.
For many people, caring responsibilities arrive at the same time as they are raising a family and managing their own career. This has led to the term ‘sandwich generation’, used to describe adults who are supporting both their children and their ageing parents.
If you’re caring for elderly parents while also looking after young children, it’s understandable to feel that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. You may worry that you’re not doing enough for anyone, including yourself.
With families increasingly living further apart and work and family commitments taking up more time, arranging the right support for an elderly parent can make a significant difference. Live-in care at home can provide consistent, one-to-one support while allowing your parent to remain in familiar surroundings.
What is the sandwich generation?
The sandwich generation describes people who are supporting an ageing parent or other older relative while also raising children or supporting younger family members.
The pressures can take many forms. You may be helping an elderly parent with shopping, appointments and household tasks while managing school runs, childcare and a full-time job. If your parent begins to need more personal care or support with their health, the demands can become even greater.
Distance can add another layer of difficulty. If you don’t live close to your parents, regular visits may be difficult to fit around work and family life. You may find yourself worrying about whether they are safe, eating properly or managing at home when you can’t be there.
Caring for elderly parents while raising a family
There is no single way to manage the responsibilities that come with caring for elderly parents. What works will depend on your parent’s needs, your family circumstances and the support available to you.
The first step is to have an honest conversation with your parent about what they need and what they would like to happen as their needs change.
It can help to consider:
- Which daily tasks are becoming difficult for your parent
- Whether they are struggling with personal care, mobility or medication
- How often they need support
- Whether they are able to live safely on their own
- What support family members can realistically provide
- Whether professional home care could provide additional support
It’s important not to assume that family members should provide all the care themselves. Getting professional support does not mean you are doing less for your parent. It can give you more time to enjoy being their son or daughter rather than always having to take on the role of carer.
The impact of caring responsibilities
Trying to meet the needs of several generations at once can be physically and emotionally demanding.
You may feel guilty when you’re spending time with your children because you’re thinking about your parent. Equally, you may feel guilty when you’re with your parent because you are worrying about work or your children.
This can make it difficult to switch off and enjoy time with any part of your family.
Having a clear support network can help. Talk to other family members about what they can realistically contribute and consider whether professional care could take some of the practical pressure away.
You may also want to arrange a care needs assessment to understand what support your parent actually needs. This can provide a clearer picture of the level of care required, help you create a tailored care plan, and consider the available options.
How can live-in care help the sandwich generation?
For families who are struggling to balance work, children and caring responsibilities, live-in care can provide an alternative to relying solely on family members.
A professional live-in carer moves into your parent’s home and provides one-to-one support throughout the day.
Depending on their needs, this can include:
- Help with washing, dressing and personal care
- Support with mobility
- Medication support
- Meal preparation
- Help around the home
- Companionship
- Support attending appointments and getting out into the community
- Overnight support where required
The level of support can be tailored around your parent rather than expecting them to change their routine or move away from home.
For families, knowing that someone is there to provide regular support can also offer valuable reassurance, particularly when work or childcare commitments make frequent visits difficult.
You don’t have to do everything yourself
If you’re part of the sandwich generation, it’s easy to feel as though you should somehow manage everything yourself.
But caring for an elderly parent doesn’t have to mean sacrificing your career, your relationship with your children or your own wellbeing. The right support can help you remain involved in your parent’s life without carrying the entire responsibility alone.
The Live-in Care Hub, a coalition of live-in care providers including Trinity Homecare, previously commissioned a nationwide consumer study looking at attitudes and experiences surrounding care for older relatives. The research highlighted some of the pressures faced by people trying to support ageing parents alongside other family and work commitments.
The research involved 1,200 UK adults and was conducted by Censuswide in November 2016.
While family circumstances have changed since the research was conducted, the challenge of balancing caring responsibilities with work and family life remains relevant for many people.
How Trinity Homecare can help
At Trinity Homecare, we understand that caring for an elderly parent can be difficult to balance alongside your own family and work commitments.
Our live-in care service provides personalised, one-to-one support in the comfort of your parent’s own home. We carefully match carers to each client’s needs, preferences and circumstances, helping them maintain their independence and daily routine.
If you’re worried about how you’ll continue supporting your parent alongside your other responsibilities, our care team can talk through the options with you.
Get in touch with Trinity Homecare to discuss your parent’s care needs and find out how live-in care could help your family.
