Taking care of ageing parents can be difficult to come to terms with. For many years, you will have looked up to and been taken care of by your parents, so the role reversal may come as a shock to both you and your parents. However, as your parents age, they will likely need physical, practical and emotional support to help them manage day-to-day.
Being able to spot the signs your parents need help and knowing what steps to take is vital to both your parent’s continued health and well-being. So, in this article, we’ll be sharing 12 steps to take when your ageing parents need help.
Signs your parents may need help
It’s important to stay vigilant for the signs your parents may need additional help, as they may not always want to admit they are struggling to cope.
When looking after parents in old age, some of the key signs they may need help include:
- Poor hygiene – a decline in personal hygiene, like not washing regularly or wearing soiled garments
- Decreased mobility – finding it harder to get around the home or out and about
- Mismanagement of medication – forgetting to take medications or getting confused about what the medications are for
- Confusion – frequent bouts of confusion can be a sign of cognitive decline
- Mood swings – changes in mood, such as an increase in irritability, can indicate medical problems or an overall decline in well-being
- Poor home hygiene – not being able to manage household tasks like emptying the bins or general tidying
- Unexplained weight loss or gain – this can be linked to medical as well as emotional decline
- Forgetfulness – whether it’s missing appointments or forgetting to pay bills, any signs of forgetfulness should be taken note of
12 steps to take when your parents need support
If you’re looking after elderly parents, you need to know what to do to ensure they get the support they need.
Below, we outline 12 steps to take when your parents need support:
1. Assess your parent’s needs
The first step you need to take is to assess your parent’s needs and write down a list of all the areas or tasks they may need help with. This could include medical support, mobility assistance, help with personal care like bathing or dressing, or support around the home.
At this stage, it can also be beneficial to get the local authority to carry out a care needs assessment, as this can provide an impartial view of what help is needed.
2. Think about how you would like to support your parents
Once you’ve considered your parent’s needs, the next step is to think about what help you want or are able to provide for your parents.
Although you may initially want to take on all the responsibility of caring for your loved one, it’s important to be realistic about what you can commit to at this stage. If you live far away from your parents, the reality is you won’t be on hand to provide day-to-day support, so exploring other options like support from a home care agency or care home options may be a better option.
3. Keep your parents involved in the process
Your parents may find the fact that they need additional support or that you’ve noticed they’re struggling to cope hard to come to terms with. As a result, it’s important to keep your parents involved in the decision-making process; this can help them feel more empowered and make them more accepting of the support in the end.
It’s also important to make sure that their wishes are considered throughout the process as their requirements should be central to any decisions made.
4. Research care options
Once you and your parents have thought about their needs and how much care you can realistically help with, it’s time to start researching ageing parents and elder care options.
Fortunately, gone are the days when the only options were moving your parents to a care home or taking care of them yourself. Now you can choose from:
- Bespoke home care tailored to their specific needs, whether that’s regular hourly care or more comprehensive round-the-clock live-in home care. This option enables your parent to continue to live independently in the home they love while receiving the care they need.
- Moving your loved one to a residential or nursing home. This is often ideal for those with more complex needs or if you live far away.
- A retirement village provides independent living where people can access lots of facilities, like a gym and clubs, yet still have support on hand should they need it.
- Sheltered housing enables people to continue living independently safe in the knowledge support from a warden is available.
You can find out more about the different types of care available in our guide to care home alternatives for your loved one.
5. Prioritise safety when making decisions
Ensuring that your loved ones can stay safe should always be a priority when considering care options. As we age, recovering from injury takes much longer, so preventing falls or trips becomes even more important.
Below are some simple steps you can take to improve safety around your parents’ home:
- Ensure rooms, hallways, and stairways are well-lit so your parents can move around safely with full awareness of their surroundings
- Install grab rails in the bathroom to help support your parents with activities like going to the toilet, showering or bathing
- Remove rugs or mats that are a trip hazard
- Ensure rooms are free of clutter that could present a trip hazard
- Clear garden pathways
You can also get support from your local social services, who can advise you during a care needs assessment on the types of adaptations that may make the home safer.
However, if you don’t think home is safe for your parents any longer, you can consider other options like residential care.
6. Ensure good communication is in place
If your parents live alone, it is vital that they have access to a phone so they can contact you if they need help.
It’s also worth bearing in mind that interaction with loved ones can positively impact their mental well-being, so if your parents are able and willing, introducing a smart device capable of video calls can also be beneficial.
7. Establish links with healthcare professionals
If your parents are struggling to take care of their health, it’s important you establish links with their healthcare team. Often the first step is to request and fill out a next of kin form that gives you access to their medical records. Remember you’ll need your parent’s permission to do this.
Once complete, you will then be able to access your parent’s medical records in order to help them manage things like their appointments and medications.
8. Encourage independence
Although your parents may need support, it’s still important to encourage them to remain as independent as possible. Allowing them to handle small tasks or make choices about their daily life can help them be more accepting of the fact they require support and preserve a sense of dignity and autonomy.
You can try encouraging them to maintain hobbies they enjoy or get involved in activities that foster a sense of self-worth. Even allowing them to make small decisions about their daily life will help them feel valued and respected.
9. Implement a routine
A routine can help give your parent’s day structure. This not only ensures they know what to expect every day, which can reduce stress, but it can also help provide a sense of accomplishment, especially if you incorporate activities your parents enjoy, like a walk. Establishing a routine early on can also be hugely beneficial if your parents have a progressive condition like dementia.
Consider introducing set times for things like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but make sure you consider your parent’s preferences and work around any activities that they are already involved in.
10. Learn more about caring responsibilities
If you plan on caring for your parents, you must understand what this will entail, which is why it is vital to learn more about the responsibilities of a carer.
Although your exact responsibilities will depend on your parent’s needs, common caring duties include:
- Help with medication management
- Personal care
- Light housework
- Taking care of pets
- Cooking
- Providing companionship
- Offering assistance getting out and about
- Running errands, like shopping for groceries or collecting prescription
- Liaising with healthcare professionals
11. Consider finances
If you are considering private care for your parents, whether through home care or a care home, you will need to consider costs. Are your parents financially independent or will you be paying for care?
Depending on your parent’s circumstances you may also want to consider funding options from the NHS or their local authority. Find out more about the options for financing care.
12. Take care of yourself
As a caregiver, it can be easy to put your parents’ needs ahead of your own, but if you don’t take care of yourself, it can lead to burnout and affect the care you are able to provide for your parents. Even if you’re not providing care full-time, taking on the responsibility of looking after parents in old age can be challenging, especially if you are still working or have other responsibilities like looking after family members.
Prioritising your own well-being should not be overlooked, so try to make time for activities that recharge you, whether that’s pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, or taking a moment for yourself.
Discover more about the types of support available for unpaid carers in our guide.
Trusted home care from Trinity
If you’re looking for reliable home care to support your ageing parents, trust Trinity Homecare. For the past 25 years, we have provided the highest standards of care in the comfort of people’s own homes, ensuring your parent’s needs are fully taken care of and they can continue to live a fulfilling life in the comfort of their own home.
Trinity Homecare is a fully managed care agency with an ‘Outstanding’ CQC rating, placing Trinity amongst the top 4% of all nationwide care companies in England. With this in mind, you can rest assured that your loved one will receive the highest standard of care and specialist support.
If you have any questions about arranging home care, simply get in touch with our helpful and knowledgeable care team.
Arranging nationwide home care with Trinity is straightforward.
Simply follow these five steps:
- Call our care team
- Undergo a free, no-obligation consultation to discuss your care needs and arrange a care assessment
- After the assessment, a plan of care is created
- A well-suited carer is found and placed
- Care can be adapted at any time
