When your parent receives a new diagnosis, it’s likely to come with a lot of questions and a feeling of uncertainty. You may have concerns about their health, treatment and future, while your parent may be trying to process the news and understand what it means for their everyday life.
A new diagnosis doesn’t always mean your parent will immediately need more care. Their needs will depend on their condition, how it affects them and whether they have other health or mobility concerns.
For now, it can help to take things one step at a time. Give your parent time to adjust, find out more about their diagnosis and work together to understand what support could make life easier.
Give your parent time to process the diagnosis
People respond to a new diagnosis in different ways. Your parent may feel worried, angry, sad or overwhelmed, or they may feel relieved to finally have an explanation for changes they’ve been experiencing.
Try not to assume that you know how they are feeling. Give them opportunities to talk if they want to, while respecting their need for privacy or quiet time too.
Don’t forget, you may also need time to process the news yourself. It can be difficult to see a parent facing a health problem, particularly when you’re unsure what the future may look like.
You don’t need to have all the answers immediately. Being present, listening and letting your parent know that you are there to support them can be just as valuable in itself.
Find out more about the diagnosis
It’s natural to start searching for information after a diagnosis, but it can quickly become overwhelming.
Instead, encourage your parent to ask their healthcare team what the diagnosis means for them specifically. Depending on the condition, they may want to understand what treatment or monitoring is recommended, what symptoms to look out for and whether there are changes they should make to their everyday routine.
It can help to write questions down before appointments. If your parent would like you to be involved, attending appointments with them can provide another pair of ears and help you both remember what has been discussed.
Try to rely on reputable sources of health information rather than assuming that everything you read online applies to your parent. Their healthcare professionals should be able to explain their individual circumstances and what happens next.
Ask what support is available
A new diagnosis may mean your parent needs additional help, but you don’t necessarily have to arrange everything yourself.
Depending on their circumstances, support could include help from their GP or specialist team, community services, social care, visiting care, practical help at home or support from local and national charities.
If you’re unsure where to start, the Trinity Homecare Guide Library includes practical information about care at home, live-in care, dementia, funding and other topics that may help you understand your options.
If your parent’s condition is affecting their ability to manage everyday activities, you can also ask their local authority about a care and support needs assessment.
Talk about what matters to your parent
A diagnosis shouldn’t become the only thing you talk about.
Ask your parent what they want to continue doing and what is important to them. They may want to remain in their own home, continue seeing friends, look after a pet, maintain a hobby or carry on with familiar routines.
These conversations can help you understand what support should achieve.
For example, if your parent wants to remain independent at home, practical help with shopping, household tasks or personal care could allow them to continue doing the things they enjoy.
The aim should be to support your parent rather than take over their life.
Look at practical changes at home
Some health conditions can make familiar tasks more difficult. Your parent may struggle with mobility, fatigue, pain, memory, balance or other changes depending on their diagnosis.
Look at their everyday routine and consider where they may need help.
This could include:
- Preparing meals and shopping
- Managing household tasks
- Getting to appointments
- Washing and dressing
- Moving around the home
- Taking medication as prescribed
- Managing stairs or getting in and out of the bath
- Staying connected with friends and family
Small changes may sometimes make everyday life easier. Better lighting, reducing trip hazards, moving frequently used items within easy reach or adding appropriate equipment can all help, depending on your parent’s needs.
Where possible, involve your parent in these decisions. Changes should help them feel safer and more independent rather than make them feel that control has been taken away.
Discuss care before it becomes urgent
It can be difficult to talk to a parent about care, particularly if they have always been independent.
You don’t have to wait until they’re struggling to have the conversation.
Start by asking what kind of help they would feel comfortable accepting. They may be happy to have someone help with household tasks or shopping but feel less comfortable with personal care.
Talking about these preferences early gives your parent an opportunity to have a say in how they are supported.
It can also make future changes less daunting. If their needs increase later, the family will already have discussed what they would and would not be comfortable with.
Avoid taking over everything yourself
When a parent becomes unwell, it’s easy for family members to start doing more for them.
Some practical help may be necessary, but try to distinguish between supporting your parent and taking control.
If they can still manage certain tasks safely, encourage them to continue doing them. This can help maintain their confidence and independence.
You should also agree how much involvement your parent wants from you. Some people appreciate having a family member organise appointments and paperwork, while others prefer to remain responsible for their own affairs.
Their preferences may change over time, so keep the conversation open.
Think about legal and financial planning
A new diagnosis can also be a good opportunity to review practical arrangements for the future.
Depending on your parent’s circumstances, this could include discussing who they would want to help with financial or health-related decisions if they were ever unable to make them themselves.
A Lasting Power of Attorney may be something to consider, depending on their circumstances and wishes.
It can also be helpful to understand your parent’s preferences around future care, where they would like to live and who they would want involved in important decisions.
Planning ahead doesn’t mean assuming that your parent will immediately lose their independence. It gives them more opportunity to express their wishes while they can.
Keep communicating with healthcare professionals
Your parent’s needs may change after a diagnosis, so keep track of any new concerns or changes you notice.
A simple record of symptoms, questions, appointments and changes in their ability to manage everyday activities can help you prepare for conversations with their healthcare team.
If something changes suddenly or you’re worried about your parent’s health, seek appropriate medical advice rather than waiting for their next routine appointment.
It can also help to make sure everyone involved in your parent’s care understands what has been agreed, particularly if several family members are helping.
Look after yourself too
Supporting a parent after a diagnosis can affect your own work, relationships, sleep and emotional wellbeing.
You may find yourself attending appointments, helping around the house, organising paperwork or worrying about your parent when you are not with them.
Try to recognise your own limits. You don’t have to become your parent’s sole source of support.
Share responsibilities with other family members where possible and accept help when it is offered. If you are taking on a significant caring role, you may also be entitled to support in your own right, including a carer’s assessment.
Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. Having enough time to rest and maintain your own life can help you continue supporting your parent in the longer term.
When might your parent need more support?
A diagnosis doesn’t automatically mean your parent needs professional care. However, you may notice changes that suggest their current arrangements are becoming difficult to maintain.
These could include:
- Struggling with everyday personal care
- Finding it difficult to prepare meals or eat regularly
- Missing medication or appointments
- Becoming less steady or confident when moving around
- Finding household tasks increasingly difficult
- Needing more help to leave the house
- Becoming socially isolated
- Relying heavily on family members for everyday support
- You or other family members struggling to keep up with their needs
If you notice these changes, it may be time to review the support your parent has and consider whether additional help at home could make life easier.
How can care at home support a parent after a diagnosis?
Care at home can provide additional support while allowing your parent to remain in familiar surroundings.
Depending on their needs, a professional carer may help with personal care, meals, medication, mobility, household tasks, appointments and companionship.
Visiting care can provide support at particular times of day, while live-in care offers a more consistent presence at home.
Having professional support can also reduce the pressure on family members. You can continue spending time with your parent without every visit having to focus on practical tasks and care.
The right level of support will depend on your parent’s individual needs and can be reviewed as their circumstances change.
Take things one step at a time
A new diagnosis can make the future feel uncertain, but you don’t need to make every decision at once.
Start by understanding the diagnosis, listening to what your parent wants and finding out what support is available. From there, you can make practical changes that help them remain as independent as possible.
As their needs change, you can review the arrangements and consider whether additional support is needed.
Most importantly, remember that your role is not to have all the answers. Being there, listening and helping your parent access the right support can make a meaningful difference.
Talk to Trinity Homecare about care at home
If your parent has recently received a diagnosis and you’re unsure what support they may need, Trinity Homecare can help you understand the options.
Our care team can listen to your circumstances, discuss your parent’s needs and explain how care at home could support their independence and wellbeing.
Whether your parent needs occasional visiting care or more regular support, we can help you consider an approach that works for them and your family.
Call us now on 0207 183 4884 in confidence for a free, no obligation quotation. If enquiring outside of our opening hours, please complete our online form and we will contact you the next day.
